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知音网 作者 晓蓝

刘茜大学毕业后,进入一家文化公司,工作一年后,通过相亲认识了身为水利工程师的周凯。周凯身材高大,举止稳重,没有不良嗜好,对刘茜也很好。交往一年后,在亲友的祝福声中,两人步入了婚姻殿堂。 结婚后,周凯每天早出晚归,工资奖金都悉数交给刘茜,对刘茜也算得上温柔体贴,但刘茜总觉得自己的婚姻生活平淡乏味,究其原因,主要是因为陆凯性格沉闷、缺少激情。日子一复一日地过去,刘茜对这样的生活感到有些厌倦和麻木。 去年秋天,办公室新来了一个叫陆宇的男同事,正好跟刘茜同龄,长得酷似刘茜喜欢的韩国明星赵寅成。陆宇性格开朗、活力四射,两人中午经常在一起吃饭、聊天,发现彼此竟有很多共同的爱好:摄影、唱歌、打网球。两人越聊越近,有时下班后,办公室同事相约一起去唱歌、打球,其中总少不了刘茜和陆宇的身影。周末,两人还相约一起去摄影,陆宇还跟刘茜拍了很多漂亮的照片……陆宇的出现,让刘茜找到了一种“恋爱”的感觉,只要和他在一起,她就感到心情愉悦,浑身充满活力。 刘茜知道陆宇没有女朋友,而自己却是个已婚女人,不过她并没有想过要真正跟陆宇谈恋爱,也没有想过要离开自己的丈夫,但她就是深深地迷恋这种甜蜜浪漫的“恋爱”感觉。心理分析:恋爱不够的爱情饥渴族 其实,生活中很多女人都有点爱情饥渴的倾向,尤其是那种在婚前觉得享受恋爱不够的女人,更是有这种心理。此时的女人迷恋爱情带来的愉悦感和被欣赏感,似乎自己就是为此而活着。如果在婚姻里找不到这种感觉,她就希望向婚外寻求,总之,爱上爱情是这类女人的最大特征。 爱上婚外的爱情,可能表明婚内的爱情存在某种缺陷。比如婚前恋爱不够,对对方的缺点没有更准确的把握,内心也缺乏准备。准备不足而进入婚姻,心里肯定会有一种落差。显然,刘茜结婚之后,对丈夫的感觉与婚前有一定的落差,比如他性格沉闷,而男同事则正好弥补了这种落差带来的不舒服。这里有一个晕轮效应,一旦发现某个人能够弥补,那么他其他方面也就随之被放大,由此带来了精神的出轨。自疗之道—— 1.在一定的限度内制造两人之间的浪漫,有益无害。但如果过度了,贪恋了,就要检查内心空虚的真正来源,把注意力转移到更加具有建没性的事情上去,提升不依赖外物的自我价值感。 2.对其他异性,如果是朋友和蓝颜的范围,也无可厚非。毕竟女人总是需要被某种情感滋润的动物,来自异性的好感总是能让自己容光焕发,精神百倍。享受被滋润,但是也不要奢求太多,在不破坏婚姻生活的前提下,什么都是可以的。但如果对方提出非分之想,就要马上停止。不要让自己冒险,因为这样不但伤害别人,更伤害了自己。 3.培养对平淡的耐受性。其实平淡如水可能才是婚姻的真谛,而最好的婚姻给人带来的可能不是惊天动地的激情,而是一种内心的踏实和宁静。让自己内心踏实下来,安定下来,珍惜已有的东西,不要总是贪图没有的,用感恩的心来经营好婚姻每一天。

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