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  老公之前一直怂恿我再买第二套房,家里这部分资金一直有储备,但我一方面考虑到将来不知道孩子愿意定居在哪里,他如果要到国外发展,我感觉购置房产就有点多余,另一方面,是考虑到固定资产虽然保值,不如投资收益高见效快。

  前阵子假离婚大潮,老公又将此事提上议程。我很不耐,直截了当告诉他,这事不靠谱,我不会同意,法律不是儿戏,离了婚,离婚证摆在那儿我心里总归膈应,即使复婚情感也受损,而且,为了避税,实在没那必要。他对家里经济情况没概念,家里我管账,他并不知道我们结婚十八年来实际的家底。他当时情绪很不好,但这些年都是我说了算的,所以我也没多想。

  我一直很信任他,他也顾家,却在上周,被我发现,他和一年轻女子逛街,我几乎不敢相认,老公的手就搭在人家腰上。判定是小三无疑。我从头凉到脚,心惊。回想之前种种,所有事都串起来。他诱哄我买房是假,处心积虑跟我离婚是真。老师,我该怎么办?我现在还没有打草惊蛇,回到家把整个家都翻了一遍,看看有没有别的线索,我不信他能瞒得那么好,结果在他公文包的夹层发现一本结婚证,是他和那个小三的,我觉得可气又可笑,那个女人看来也是受骗的,我和老公18年前就结婚了,这本证肯定是假的,老公竟然想出这种办法两头都骗。心里很乱,直接摊牌?我怕控制不住自己的情绪。这些年是我太相信他了,我现在完全没办法面对他。

  维情婚姻咨询师迟蕊:

  他与小三已发展到需要用这样的方式去巩固坚定情感,而你若非偶遇,依然蒙在鼓里,这不仅仅是因为你过于信任他,也说明你平时太不关注生活的细节了。一个男人出轨,是不可能完全没有迹象的,肯定会有一些敷衍、应付的情感掩藏在伪装的“顾家”行为中,结婚时间长,家庭琐事、兼顾理财,你放在其他地方的心思多了,放在老公身上的心思就少了,这一点,你并没有协调好,且,从你叙述来看,平时多是你发出指令,他接受执行,这样沟通交流就不太平等,你是否有去感受,他真的接纳这样的相处模式吗?是不是有可能,他一直压抑自己去包容?

  第三者能成功插足,不是男人的品行本身有裂缝,就是家庭本身存在裂痕。找出裂痕并修复,这个过程不容易,但一段姻缘,十八个年头一路走来更不易。找个机会,想好怎么和他谈,将你的困惑和烦心都说出来,同时也听听他的想法,双方毫无保留地深谈一次。了解清楚婚姻的病因,对症下药。维情网 迟蕊


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